A LITTLE HOME.
Give me, Oh Lord, a little home to be,
A happy place for one I love and me;
A place where we can shut the door and find.
Comfort and peace for body and for mind.

A little home that does not know the sound,
Of angry tiffs, where sulking is not found,
But loving words, a whistle and a song,
To help each other if the day goes wrong.

A little home, where generous words can give,
Each to the other space to grow and live,
Where each is quick to help and understand,
Where trust and comradeship go hand in hand.

A little home, in which all else above,
There is the beauty, and the joy of love,
A little home where thought and deed and word,
Are consecrated to thy service, Lord.

This enlightening and lovely poem was written by:-

Beatrice Gibbs.

MARRIAGE AND DIVORCE.

INTRODUCTION.
The lovely poem by Beatrice Gibbs, beautifully expresses many of the desires and aims of Christian marriage. This Divine design and purpose is not an unattainable goal, or an impossible dream; through the grace of God, many Christian couples have experienced the beauty and friendship expressed in this poem. One of John Wesley's leading preachers stated that he doubted if there was a home in England that had so much joy and laughter in it as his home. The Devil is the author of the lie that the atmosphere of a Christian home should be dour, exacting, austere and forbidding. Jesus came to give us His full joy, and abundant life, and the beauty, affection and joy of love in our homes. In Jn.15v11., Jesus said, "These things have I spoken unto you, that my joy might remain in you, and that your joy might be full." Jesus also prayed in Jn.17v13., "And now come I to thee; and these things I speak in the world, that they might have my joy fulfilled in themselves." Jn.16v24.. In Jn.10v10., Jesus said, "The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it more abundantly."

Jesus comes to give us His full joy in our marriage relationships, Satan and his thieves come to rob marriages of their joy and friendship. The alarming increase in divorce, even among Christians, and the distress that this causes, is of great concern to those who lead in Christian work. It is reported that 75% of the marriages of people who have been divorced in their first marriage, fail again in their second marriage, the hardness of heart that caused the failure in the first marriage appears to have been carried over into their second marriage. The standard of divorce for trivialities, that has caused disaster for families in the world, has infected the Christian community, and there is a great need for Christians to learn and live by the Biblical truths about marriage. I pray that this book will help those who read it, to achieve this. W. H. Turner. October 6th. 2000.

CONTENTS.

1. MARRIAGE IS DESIGNED AND ORDAINED BY GOD.

2. SUBMISSION IS FOR THE HUSBAND AS WELL AS THE WIFE.

3. THE TRIALS AND TEMPTATIONS OF MARRIAGE.

4. LOVE, LOVE AND THE GIFTS, AND HOME LIFE. 1Cor.13.

5. THE CAUSES OF BREAKDOWN IN MARRIAGE.

6. DIVORCE AND REMARRIAGE.

7. THE ABOUNDING HARVEST OF THE FRUIT OF THE SPIRIT.

APPENDIX 1. IN GEN.3V16. GOD DID NOT CURSE WOMEN.

APPENDIX 2. POLYGAMY.


1. MARRIAGE IS DESIGNED AND ORDAINED BY GOD.
The high value and estimation that God puts upon marriage, can be seen by the fact that God likens the joy of the inauguration fellowship meal of the saints with their Lord in the kingdom of God, to a marriage supper, and so in Rev.19v6-9., we read of, "The marriage supper of the Lamb."

1. God, and God alone is the Creator, and He ordained the creation of men and women, and marriage.
a) As one scientist has said, the theory of evolution is nine tenths imagination and one tenth bad science, in other words it is a wilful collection of twisted facts, fables and lies. It is a scientific fact that the odds against the accidental formation of life are trillions to one against; scientists cannot form life, even when they exclude chance in perfect laboratory conditions, with all the necessary chemicals and equipment. The creation of life needs a far greater mind and ability than that of man, as Paul declares, the phenomenal and amazing interrelated complexity of creation, clearly witness to the eternal power and deity of the Godhead, and leave men without any excuse. Rom.1v18-20. Darwin confessed, that it was a pity that his beautiful theory of evolution was proved untrue by the facts of fossil evidence. Another leading exponent of the evolutionary theory has stated, "We have no fossils to prove evolution, we just find it incredible to believe in God." He admitted that he believed in a lie rather than face the truth that there is a God. Innumerable facts prove the truth that there is a Creator God, and that evolutionists have twisted the facts and evidence, and wilfully held down the truth about creation. The origin of Creation and the sexes can never be explained by the theory of evolution, it contains countless contradictions and impossibilities. It is impossible for creatures to change at one leap from being an egg laying creature, to being a mammal that gives birth to fully developed babies; yet the supposed evolutionary tree propounded by evolutionists makes this false conclusion inevitable. Everyone knows that it is quite impossible for a woman to reverse this process, and become an egg laying mother by an act of her will, yet this kind of theory is applied to dumb animals. No one believes that if we stand long enough flapping our arms that we will grow wings, those foolish enough to try this, would be confined in the nearest mental hospital.

b) Men and women are a direct creation of God, and this alone can explain origin of the sexes, and the creative abilities of the human mind and personality, and the reality of mankind's spiritual and religious nature. The phenomenally complicated structure of the human body demands an intelligent Creator. No computer can match the electronic brilliance and capability of the human brain, eye and nervous system, or the complicated biochemical machinery, and efficient muscle structure and joints of a human being. No one believes the considerably less complicated man-made computer has evolved from a random mixture of chemicals, everyone knows that it has taken an intelligent mind to create it. The miracle of reproduction and birth, the incredible complexity of the body's biological chemistry, and the DNA structure and genes, are the product of a far greater mind than that of man, for men are still finding great difficulty in understanding its complexity. The amazing fact of the human body's defence mechanisms against infection by bacteria and virus, and the self-healing capability of the human body, is a proof of Divine design and creation, this could not have evolved, or mankind would certainly have been extinct before the immune system was perfected. We have joints that renew themselves, and which are much longer lasting than the stainless steel joints made by men. Men are light years away from making a computer that can mend and reproduce itself, and has a life span of up to 100 years, and can produce its own electricity and energy, and sustain and repair itself by eating and digesting organic material. No computers can compete with the amazing adaptability of a human being in many different environments, in water, in great heat, in Arctic temperatures, in mountaineering and multitudes of other tasks. Computerised robots that can do the amazing variety of things that a human being can do, are in the realm of science fiction. Such amazing biological computerisation, chemical machinery, and brilliant structural design, demand an intelligent and loving Creator.

2. Eve was God's perfect gift to Adam, and much more than Adam expected.
The animal creation could not provide a companion for Adam, Eve was God's gift of a perfect "help meet." Gen2v18-20. The word "help meet" occurs 21 times in the Old Testament; it implies superior help not an inferior help. Eve was much more than Adam expected. Eph.3v20. 5v25-32. and 2Cor.11v2. In Isaiah.30v5. Ezek.12v14. and Dan.11v34., the word "help," is used of human help, but in every other case where this word is used it speaks of God's help, as in Psalm.121v2., "My help cometh from the Lord."

The expression "help meet" or "help mate," does not adequately convey the meaning of the original Hebrew, for the word "meet" is a preposition, and the famous Hebrew scholar Gesenius, probably the greatest Hebrew authority, defines this preposition as often implying, "As things which are before us, and in the sight of which we delight, are objects of our care and affections, hence Is.49v16., "Thy walls are before me," they have a place in my care and affections." End of Gesenius quote.

With this preposition "before," or "over against," is coupled the adverb "as," - the whole meaning, then, is "as before him." The "over against him," or "as before him," shows that Eve comes to complement the deficiencies of man, to meet his needs. A wife is one who supplements and complements her husbands needs and deficiencies. God meant "help meet" to convey that a wife should be a person who is before us, and in the sight of whom we delight, an object of our care and affections.

3. Sexuality is very good, and a gift from God.

a) God tells us that the creation was "good," and the human creation was "very good." Gen.1v31.
However, it was not good for Adam to be alone, Hebrew, "In his separation." Gen.2v18. Something we need to remember. In Gen.2, God uses a totally different word from "created," He uses the word "formed." Adam and Eve were created and FORMED by God. See 1Tim.2v13., Adam was first formed then Eve.

God did not make any mistakes when he ordained sex, He said it is very good. The light was good. Gen.1v4. The land and sea were good. Gen.1v10 The vegetable creation was good. Gen.1v12. The sun and moon were good. Gen.1v18. The fish and birds were good. Gen.1v21. The beasts of the earth and creeping things were good. Gen.1v25. The making of man and woman made the overall picture of creation very good. Gen.1v31.

b) The Scriptures state that sexual intercourse is not defiling.
We read in Heb.13v4., that, "Marriage is honourable in all and the bed undefiled, but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge." "Undefiled," "amiantos," is from the negative "a," and "maino" to defile., it speaks of that which has nothing in it that defiles, it is used to describe Jesus, our Great High Priest, and our undefiled home in heaven. Heb.7v26. 1Pet.1v4. We read in James.1v27., that "undefiled and pure religion consists of visiting the fatherless and widows in their afflictions and keeping oneself unspotted from the world." Sexual perversion is defiling, but correct use of sex is spiritually uplifting, and is a defence against the powers of darkness. This is one reason why occultists forbid to marry, as well as forbid to eat meat. 1Tim4v1-3.

c) Sexual intercourse is to be enjoyed as a gift from God.
Sexual intercourse is given, as the marriage service states, for the "mutual comfort of one with the other," and not solely for the procreation of children. Augustine said you had to think of the child and not enjoy sex. What complete nonsense! Augustine and other theologians have foolishly said that sexual intercourse is always defiling, because there is passion in it. We read in Prov.5v18., that husbands are to rejoice with the wife of their youth, and the context shows that this is referring to sexual intercourse. Prov.5v15-21. Augustine's view of sex was neither healthy or Scriptural, his viewpoint was influenced and polluted by the considerable immorality that he indulged in before he became a Christian, and the false doctrines that he believed in his pre-Christian life, some of which are revealed in his book, "The Confessions of St. Augustine." Sex is not, as one lady said, "Something to do when God is not looking." You can be as spiritual in love-making as in the prayer meeting, or Bible study, and be filled with praise and prayer for the gift of human love and companionship. However, God's design and objectives for marriage go much further than sexual intercourse, He desires marriage to consist of a companionship, mutual sharing, compassionate concern, and "agape" love, that can be a veritable foretaste of heaven.

4. The Devil's attack on, and disruption of the first marriage, and God's reaction.

a) Satan slanders God's restrictions on Adam and Eve, and offers a false freedom and experience.
This is one of his usual ploys. Satan still attacks today with the words "HATH GOD SAID?" and proposes another way, but it ends in sorrow, pain, death and eternal judgement. Gen.3v1.

b) Satan attacks Eve while she is alone, and completely deceives her.
In 1Tim.2v14., "deceived," is "exapatetheisa," the aorist passive participle of "exapatao," "to deceive completely." Adam was not deceived, "epatethe," the aorist passive indicative of "apatao," to deceive, to trick, to mislead, he sinned with his eyes open. There was some excuse for Eve, but none for Adam. In 2Cor.11v3., Paul warns the Corinthians, "But I fear; lest by any means, as the serpent beguiled Eve through his subtlety ("panourgia," craftiness), so your minds should be corrupted from the simplicity that is in Christ." "Beguiled," is "exepatesen," the aorist indicative active of "exapatao," the preposition "ex" is perfective, and makes the verb mean "to completely deceive." "Simplicity," is "aplotetos," which can mean sincerity as well as simplicity. The Majority Text adds, "and the purity," "kai tes agnotetus." Paul warns the Corinthians that Satan is still busy in corrupting the minds and homes of believers. Satan's false preachers and fake apostles, still transform themselves into the apostles of Christ, and servants of righteousness, like Satan himself, who comes to deceive as an angel of light. 2Cor.11v13,14. God allowed Satan's temptation of Adam and Eve, and our temptations, because victory over temptation produces purity and a hatred of evil, and the reward of a crown of life to those who overcome it. James.1v12-17. 1Pet.1v4-7. Temptation is unavoidable, it is a natural result of having a free will, Satan chose evil in Heaven in God's pure and holy presence, with no evil present to tempt him, it was his own desire that led him astray.

N. B. How God dealt with the first family problem.
1. God did not come storming in with anger, He gently offered his presence. The Lord God walked and spoke in the garden in the cool of the day, but they were feeling full of guilt and went and hid themselves. Gen.3v8. God gently calls to Adam, "Where art thou?" There was no confrontation, and no accusations. Gen.3v9.

2. Adam said, "I heard thy voice in the garden, and I was afraid, because I was naked and I hid myself." Gen.3v10. Sin keeps us from fellowship with God and with Christians. 1Jn.1v3 to 2v2. Don't imitate them and hide away, go to God and confess.

3. God tries to draw a confession out of Adam, "Who told thee that thou was naked? Hast thou eaten of the tree that I commanded thee that thou shouldest not eat?" This was not an angry accusation, it was a gentle inquiry to promote confession and repentance. Gen.3v11.

4. Adam blames Eve and God. "The woman whom thou gavest to be with me, she gave me of the tree and I did eat." Gen.3v12. Adam did not repent, he said that God's gift, Eve, was really to blame. Eve blames the serpent, "The serpent beguiled me, and I did eat." Gen.3v13.

5. God curses the serpent, and promises that Jesus would bruise the serpent's head. God said that He would put enmity between Satan and women. Women have always been an enemy of Satan, and Satan her bitterest enemy, not only because of her spiritual qualities, but because her seed, Jesus, would bruise Satan's head, and destroy Satan and his evil works and power. Gen.3v15. 1Jn.3v5,8.

Some antidotes to Satan's attacks.
a) Don't let Satan wind you up when you are on your own, to give your hubby a hard time when he comes home.

b) Be prayerful. Keep close to God, and be prepared for the hour of temptation.

c) Be creative. Do interesting and creative things that engage and relax the body, and rest the mind and spirit.

d) Be active. Some one has said, "When the going gets tough, the tough go shopping." There is no need to go on a shopping binge, you can window shop and not buy anything, a change like this can remove spiritual stress as well as physical pressure.

e) Get into informal Christian fellowship, for sometimes formal meetings can increase stress and tension, whereas a chat over a cup of tea or coffee, and prayer with sympathetic loving friends can remove physical and spiritual strains and pressures.

2. SUBMISSION IS FOR THE HUSBAND AS WELL AS THE WIFE.

1. WHAT IS THE NATURE OF THIS SUBJECTION AND SUBMISSION IN THE SCRIPTURES?
To understand properly what is meant by submission we have to consider the original Scriptures. The Scriptures apply submission to many aspects of the Christian life, and to men as well as women.

a. Paul tells us that we are to be subject to earthly governments, for they are ordained by God. Rom13v1-5.
We are to be in subjection to the higher powers. Rom.13v1-5. Titus.3v1. 1Peter.2v13. However, Peter chose rather to obey God rather than man on vital matters of faith and conscience. Act 5 v 24. Peter and Paul told slaves to submit to their masters, the apostles had a commission to preach the Gospel, not to bring about the abolition of slavery, submission to governments in this injustice was a necessity in their day. Titus.2v9. "Exhort slaves to be subject to their own masters, and try to please them in everything, and not to talk back to them." 1Pet.2v18. "Slaves be subject to your masters with all fear; not only to the good and gentle, but also to the harsh." Subjection should be a reality to all Christians in their daily lives.

b. Paul tells us that we are to submit to the guidance of wise, reasonable and godly Christian leaders.
Paul said, in Rom.16v16., "I beseech you brethren - that you submit yourselves to everyone that helps us and laboureth." Some of these labourers that Paul mentions here were woman, and Paul tells the men to be subject to their ministries. We need to realise that in Heb.13v7,17,24., "hegeomai," which is translated as "rule," means to lead, to guide, and should, according to Vine, read in v7, "Be mindful of those who are guiding you," and in v17., "Give ear to those who guide you, and be willing to submit to what they say." In Heb.13v17., the word for "submit," is the verb "hupeiko," it is derived from "hupo," under, and "eiko," to yield, and means, to yield under, be weak; to surrender, it is used in Heb.13v17., of "submitting" to spiritual guides in the churches whose guidance is not only seen to be right, but is also conveyed in a reasonable manner.

The word for "obey" in Heb.13v17., is the verb "peitho," which means "to persuade, to convince one to believe by words, to listen and obey because of reasonable argument." Vine writes, "The obedience suggested is not by submission to authority but resulting from persuasion." So we see that the teaching of the elders is acceptable, because it is seen to be reasonable, not because it is dictatorial. So we see that "peitho," to persuade, and "pisteuo," to believe and trust, are closely related, in fact Strong states that "pistis," faith, is derived from "peitho." Faith is produced by the persuasive arguments of truth, "peitho" suggests the obedience produced by faith. Rom.1v5. "Obedience of faith, "hupakoen pisteos." In Heb.3v18,19., the disobedience of the Israelites is said to be the result of their unbelief. Faith is an internal unseen thing, which produces an obedience, which can be seen. Truth persuades us to believe in God, and true faith in God produces obedience to God.

c. All Christians are to be subject to each other.
Paul directs us in Eph.5v21., "To submit yourselves one to another in the fear of God." Peter states that ALL must submit to each other, 1Pet.5v5., "Likewise, ye younger, submit yourselves unto the elder. Yea, ALL of you be subject one to another, and be clothed with humility: for God resisteth the proud, and giveth grace to the humble." We are all to submit to the body of Christ. Church leaders are not just to be subject to Church leaders, as is a common practice today, they are to be subject to the whole body of Christ as well.

In 1Cor.14v32., Paul states that "the spirits of the prophets are subject to the prophets." Prophets are not only to prophesy in an orderly controlled manner, and consider others, they are subject to the judgement of other prophets. 1Cor.14v28-32.

d. Our Lord was subject both to His earthly parents and His heavenly Father.
In Lk.2v51., "hupotasso" tells how Jesus as a child was subject to Mary and Joseph. Several Scriptures state that Jesus recognised the Father as His head and submitted to His will. 1Cor.11v3. John.6v38. "For I came down from heaven, not to do mine own will, but the will of Him that sent me. Jn.4v34. 5v30. In 1Cor.15v27,28, we read of God bringing all things under subjection to Jesus, and of Jesus being subject to the Father. Eph.1v22. Phil.3v21. Heb.2v5,8. 1Pet.3v22., "Who is gone into heaven, and is on the right hand of God; angels and authorities and powers being made subject unto him." Even the creation will be subject to unreality until Jesus returns, we read in Rom.8v20., "For the creature was made subject to unreality, not willingly, but by reason of him who hath subjected the same in hope."

e. The submission of discipleship to Christ.

A learning devoted follower of Jesus. "Mathetes."
"Disciple," is the noun "mathetes," from "manthano," to learn, and literally means, a learner, a pupil, in contrast to a teacher, "didaskolos." (The verb "matheteuo," is used in Mt.13v52. 27v57. 28v19. Acts.14v21.) A disciple, then, is one who follows someone's teaching, we read of the disciples of John, Mt.9v14.; the disciples of the Pharisees, Mt.22v16.; the Jews said that they were disciples of Moses, Jn.9v28.. It is also used in a general sense of all the "disciples" of Jesus, even those who followed Him secretly, Lk.6v17. Jn.6v66. 19v38.; it is used of the twelve apostles, Mt.10v1. Lk.22v11. Jesus said that those who are "abiding in His Word," are really His true disciples. Jn.8v31. 13v35. 15v8. In Acts disciples are said to be those who believed in Jesus and confessed Him. Actr.6v1-7. 11v26. 14v20,22,28. 15v10. 16v1. 18v27.19v1. 21v16. Tabitha is said to be a "mathetria," a female disciple. Acts.9v36. A disciple is not just a pupil, but a devotee, and an imitator of Jesus. Jn.8v31. 15v8. We are "fellow-disciples," "summathetes," of Jesus. Jn.11v16.

Following after Jesus, and submitting to His Lordship. "Opiso."
The Greek word "opiso," is used in connection with "hepomai," to follow," in the sense of "following behind someone," as a sign of subordination to the person you respect and of being their pupil. Jesus said, "Come after me, "deute opiso mou," and I will make you to become fishers of men." Mk.1v17,20. 8v34. Mt.10v38. Obedience is implied in the disciple.

f. The following Scriptures speak of wives being in subjection to their husbands.
1Cor.11v3. "But I want you to know that the head of every man is Christ, the head of woman is man, and the head of Christ is God." This suggests submission, even though it does not actually state it.

1Cor.14v34. "Let your women keep silent in the churches, for they are not permitted to speak; but they must be in submission, as the law also says." See further note later.

Eph.5v24. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing."

Col.3v18. "Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord."

Titus.2v4,5., "Admonish and encourage the young women to love their husbands, to love their children. v5 "To be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no-one will malign the word of God." "Admonish and encourage," is "sophronizo," to make of sound mind, i.e. (figuratively) to discipline or correct:

1Pet.3v1,5. "Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives. v5 For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands."

The verb "hupotasso," is translated as "submit," "be in submission," "be subject," and "be in subjection" in the above Scriptures. "Hupotasso," is primarily a military term, meaning, to rank under, from "hupo," under, and "tasso," to arrange, and so means, to set in array under, to submit, to subject, to subordinate. So the submission here referred to is a submission which enables us to fight and win the victory in our marriages. It is not a husband being autocratic or despotic. Obviously subjection to God implies obedience to His desires and commands, this is supported by Strong's definition that "hupotasso," means, "to subordinate; reflexively, to obey." Submission to God in marriage relationships means that wives must not only submit themselves to their husbands, but that husbands must submit to God's command, that they are to love their wives as Christ loves the Church.

"Hupotasso," occurs in Lk.2v51. 10v17,20. Rom.8v7,20. 10v3. 13v1,5. 1Cor.14v34. 15v27,28. 1Cor.16v16. Eph.1v22. 5v21,24. Phil.3v21. Col.3v18. Titus.2v5,9. 3v1. Heb.2v5,8. 12v9. James.4v7. 1Pet.2v13,18. 3v1,5,22. 5v5. The verb "hupotasso" is rare outside of the Bible. The Septuagint translates "waiteth," in "waiteth upon God," in Ps.62v1., and "wait," in Is.62v5., and "rest," and "wait," in Ps.37v7., with "hupotasso," to be in subjection.

In James.4v5-7., "hupotasso," describes a submissive setting in military array under God to resist Satan.
We are not to submit for a moment to Satan's lies, and his attacks upon our standing in Christ, we are to resist, ("antitasso," another military term), the Devil, and he will flee from us. This submission to God is again referred to in Heb.12v9., "Furthermore we have had fathers of our flesh which corrected us, and we gave them reverence: shall we not much rather be in subjection unto the Father of spirits, and live?" In Rom.8v7., Paul warns, "The carnal mind is enmity against God: for it is not subject to the law of God, neither indeed can be." The choice is submission to God and the spiritual mind, or domination by the carnal mind, which will open us to the attacks of Satan. We are victors in Jesus, let us resist Satan, and fight for our marriages, power and grace are given to work miracles in our marriages, as well as in peoples bodies, indeed, this can often be even more important in God's eyes.

The seventy evangelists were amazed at the armoury and authority that they had, when they submitted to God, and set themselves in military array under Him, and used the authority of the name of Jesus. In Lk.10v17,20., we see their joy when they found that demons were subject to them in the name of Jesus. Jesus directed them to have a correct perspective of this armoury, power and joy, "Notwithstanding in this rejoice not, that the spirits are subject unto you; but rather rejoice, because your names are written in heaven." Jesus and His salvation, is God's supreme unspeakable gift to us. Paul was distraught that the Jews turned down this unspeakable gift, and would not submit to God's way of salvation in Jesus. Rom.9v1-5. Paul states the folly of the Jews in Rom.10v3., "For they being ignorant of God's righteousness, and going about to establish their own righteousness, have not submitted themselves unto the righteousness of God."

The noun "hupotage," Strong 5292, which means, "subjection," only occurs in four places in the New Testament.
In 2Cor.9v13., Paul commends the Corinthians for their subjection to the gospel of Christ.
In Gal.2v5., Paul states that he did not give place by subjection to the Judaizers for one hour.
In 1Tim.2v11., Paul writes, "Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection."
In 1Tim.3v4., Paul states that an Pastor-Elder-Overseer is to be, "One that ruleth well his own house, having his children in subjection with all gravity." "Hupotage," is not found in classical Greek outside of the New Testament,.

N.B. The word "obey" is generally used for servants and slaves and always for children. Eph.6v1,5. Col.3v20,22.
The word for "obedience" is the noun "hupakoe," it is quite unlike "hupotasso." "Hupakoe," is derived from "hupo," under, and "akouo, to hear; it is used in secular Greek to describe someone standing at a door and listening intently; and later it was used to speak of the obedience which followed hearing and understanding a request or a command. Paul uses it to speak of "the obedience of faith in Rom.1v5.

The verb "hupakouo," means "to listen to," with the derived sense, "to obey," it is used in Acts.12v13., when Rhoda comes to the door "to listen to" Peter's urgent knocking on the door. Elsewhere in the New Testament "hupakouo" is translated "obey," In 1Pet.3v6., Peter gives Sarah as an example to women of subjection and listening obedience, "Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord (or "Sir." Mt.13v27. Jn12v21.): whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and do not give way to fear." Sarah did obey Abraham, "calling him Lord," however, it is a striking fact that the situation was reversed in Gen.21v12., God told Abraham to "obey" Sarah, "in all that Sarah saith unto thee obey her voice --- Cast out bondswomen and her child." On many occasions wives have God's answer to marital problems, and have to be listened to and obeyed.

Strong states that the verb "hupakouo," 5219, means, to hear under (as a subordinate), i.e. to listen attentively; by implication, to heed or conform to a command or authority." It occurs in the following places in the New Testament. Mt.8v27. Mk.1v27. Mk.4v41. Lk.8v25. " Lk.17v6. Acts.6v7. Acts.12v13. Rom.6v12. Rom.6v16,17. Rom.10v16. Eph.6v1,5. Phil.2v12. Col.3v20,22. 2Thes.1v8. 2Thes.3v14. Heb.5v9. Heb.11v8. 1Pet.3v6.

e) Subjection does not exclude equality.
The subjection of Jesus to the Father at the end of the millennium shows subjection can be the perfection of trusting love and equality. 1Cor.15v28. For our Lord is equal in deity to the Father. Phil.2v6,7.

f. Submission to an unbelieving husband, partnership with a believing wife.
Submission and living with an unbelieving husband.
In 1Pet.3v1-6., Peter gives a totally different emphasis, he states how a Christian wife must act if they are married to an unbeliever.

a) Many more women than men have been converted in Church history, so the combination of a believing wife with an unbelieving husband has been a common occurrence. A Christian woman must not argue with or preach at their unbelieving husband, but submit, and win their husbands without a word. In 1Pet.2v11 to 3v8., Peter suggests that a Christian wife should be prepared to stand some abuse, he says "Likewise ye wives," and infers that wives are to stand some buffeting like slaves, and be submissive even to the harsh, and take ill treatment patiently like Jesus. Submission means that we trust God to work things out, like Jesus, who though brutally treated, "kept entrusting himself to Him who judges righteously." 1Pet.2v23.

b) Paul states that Christians should marry "only in the Lord," 1Cor.7v39.; and not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. 2Cor.6v14. "What fellowship has righteousness with unrighteousness, and what communion hath light with darkness."

c) In 1Cor.7v12-16., Paul makes it clear that our Lord did not give any teaching about how a believer who was married to an unbeliever should behave and react if problems occurred in their marriage, so Paul gives his own inspired teaching on this matter, "To the rest I say, not the Lord." Paul declares that Christian husbands and wives must not send their unbelieving partners away, for their partners may be saved by their thoughtful, loving and godly living. However, Paul says that if the unbelieving partner leaves, the situation changes, and the Christian is no longer bound in marriage to the unbeliever.

N. B. In 1Cor.7v26-28. we read that because of "the present distress," that is, the very considerable persecution, Paul states that it was not wise to seek a wife. It was good not to dismiss a wife if one was married, and it was also not wise to seek a wife if they were loosed, however, if they are loosed from a partner, and do marry, "they have not sinned." In 1Cor.7v27., "Art thou bound unto a wife? seek not to be loosed, ("lusis" 3080). Art thou loosed ("lelusai" 3089) from a wife? seek not a wife." Strong defines "lusis," "3080, from 3089; a loosening, i.e. (specifically) divorce:" "Lelusai," is the perfect passive indicative of "luo," to loose, to release.

g. Christian wives and husbands should live and communicate as equals.
Peter makes it clear in 1Pet.3v7., that Christian partners are "heirs together of the grace of life," and that Christian husbands are to honour their wives, and recognise their biological problems and weaknesses, and that husbands must not treat their wives badly, or God will not listen to their prayers. Peter makes it clear that Christian marriages are a partnership of saints, who are equal in God's eyes, and there should be mutual honour and respect for each other. Domination is forbidden. Peter says that Christian partners are, "Heirs together of the grace of life," he is obviously speaking of a joint sharing of decisions. Though the final decision should rest with the husband, if married couples can't agree on important decisions, it is best not to act. Submission does not rule out equal authority, or joint decision making.

        CLICK HERE FOR NEXT PAGE....